Entry 7:I swear, If I did sex education, we wouldn't have any teen moms because no one would want to have sex. I am doing a paper for my Growth and development class on STD's and am grossing myself out, and after relaying info, my friends are now pretty grossed out too. Did you know that around 1 in every 4 people have genital herpes, some not even knowing it until way later? and that's just one STD! Think about all of the people who dont have herpes, but have other STD's. you can also get pretty much any STD throgh oral and anal sex, plus you can get syphyllis from kissing? HPV or genital warts causes both cervical and Penile cancer, which cancer can lead to removal of the affected area. yeah. And don't even make me start breaking out the pictures and start listing disgusting symptoms. I am not even halfway through my first trimester and am already grossed out, not by blood, guts, or bodily secretions, but by the behavior of other people, not just about STD's, but in general.
Entry 6:I think my life right now would make a great TV show..... except if it had as few viewers as this blog has readers, It wouldn't make it past the pilot episode, Oh Well. Anywho, back to my show.......I can see it Grey's Anatomy-esque. Except for I'm going to be a nurse, not a surgeon. There is the whole relationship/whatever dramas with men all suddenly wanting me (including some of my close friends who know I'm with someone), all the while having no idea what to say other than "I'm just....with someone" because my own insecurities hinder every stinking thing I ever want and I over correct my actions thinking it will make things better when it makes them worse. I just want to be myself, I think that's what he wants too.... but I have so much to say, but no words to speak. when I do, they just don't sound right. I spent a long time looking inside after the last bad breakup I had, did alot of work to discover who I am and what I want, and finally decided to go for it. so not worth it. Just a matter of trying to find ways to make it work and no time to do it, especially when you haven't really had a good convo in a few days.
I don't even want to think about when I start clinicals at the hospital. right now I'm just trying to pass classes and labs when I failed penis washing. Yes! Penis washing! It's not like I haven't seen one or know what to do with it or anything. I'ts just a body part, but for some strange reason, plastic just isn't the same as the real thing. plus, I really doubt I am ever going to be in a situation where I am like "hi there! I am going to wash you now.....gee, did you know your stuff doesn't move?" I'm so going into OR when I get My RN, and med surg before that! something not involving penis washing! atleast I'm doing ok on paper.....96% on my first midterm today...wooohoooo all A's except for one high B...I'll get it up. then there is the in class drama...she hates her, who hates her, who hates me stuff....petty. then co-habitating with my g-ma and work drama added......blah. I even have my own version of Joe's going on. I'm telling you ...look out here it comes.
Entry 5:ok, this officially sucks! I don't think I have ever had a weekend go quite this bad!
Friday night: I was leaving from work, glad to have plenty of time to get my homework done before a busy weekend( I have two projects and 2 or 3 worksheetsdue by tuesday) when two of the teens I work with needed a ride home and said they could't get one from anyone else, hesitantly I agreed thinking it would be a good deed and only a couple minutes out of my night. yeah, right. I waited for them for awhile, we get in my car, pull in front of the restraunt, and my car died! not just stopped running, but completely died! we had to have a tow truck start it and follow me! oh, ya, and the girls who were rideless? they had a ride in five seconds and left me standing in the freezing cold (it was -7 wind chill that night)coatless, until way after 10 and I got to bed at 3, no homework done. good stuff. Atleast I have a date tomorrow morning.....
Saturday: BF had cancelled. So I was bumming around when he calls so I run like a freak to get ready when we decide to go out anyways. looked like POOP! but, he surprised me with car looking and after decinding to try to keep my junker, it was all good. went to work and saw my schedule...oh crap! the way it is, I have time for no extras...school /work only pretty much, plus I have to leave class early one day just to make it to work.....ya, I'm screwed if they don't fix it. no homework done. but hey, I can go to that basketball game i wanted to go to....
Sunday: Ok, realized no b-ball game b/c i have no car and no one to go with since they all work that night. missed out on everything that happened last night since I couldn't go out with my friends after work since I was carless. got a recap, but it just isn't the same. Realized how bad the rest of the week will suck and how dirty my bedroom was (it has been neglected) so I cleaned on it, fell asleep, and just now realized I am going to be late for work since I have to get a ride and I am still in my jammies. looks like no homework done tonight either!
Entry 4:Am I going to nursing school, or training for a circus.....because I am doing more juggling than a clown with multiple personalities. Classes, work, studying, homework, boyfriend, and still spending time with friends doesn't really all fit into a 24 hour day, and don't forget about sleeping or eating. It's crazy! Plus then there is the drama. lots of drama. for me, it's grades. I have always just flew through everything i have done and got something if i really wanted it.....not here. It's a hard adjustment to go from goofing off to working like a freak just to get by. This probably sounds funny to some people, but I carry around a strange reminder of what i am working for: my stethoscope. Yes, this is more of a necessity than a reminder, but my cousin got me a really nice one with some other med equipment as a gift, and to me this is motivation.It reminds me that I have a lot of people who believe that I can do this, even when I don't. plus the $13,000 that I have to pay back if I quit or fail doesn't exactly hurt either. oh well, only 10 more months to go!
